Resignation!!!!

Dad is alone now! Carol and Cecil were there until early today when they headed for home. Dad has made it increasingly difficult for his family to be there. The one wish he want is one we can not get for him. To go home! He has to use a walker, he is unable to cook for himself, as if he did that very much anyway. He would forget to take his meds and his house is not in any kind of shape to handle a walker. He has a drop off on either side of his living room of over 3 ft. Stairs into the house that have no railing, only a tub and no shower. He is unable to lift his legs high enough to get in the tub anymore. My heart breaks that I am unable to give him what he wants but it is what it is. I suggested he come to the Boise Vet's home and at first he said sure. When it came to sign the papers he said no. He just wants to go home. He is afraid if he gets to Boise I would not get him back to Nebraska to bury him. Hard to take that a parent does not trust you to do what he has asked. I will get over it, I love him regardless. The nursing staff at the nursing home, Bryan Hospital, and the social workers have all agreed that he is not capable of going home. He would have to have live in help and that is so costly with no one to help pay for it. It really comes down to money. If I was able to help him in the financial department I would but when you live on what your retirement brings in which is just enough for ourselves it is tough. I canceled his stint replacement today. I did it only after a lot of soul searching and praying. I believe I did the right thing. With everything we know about his condition having the stint is not going to make a big difference. If by having the stint replaced would give him a better life by all means I would do it in a heart beat. That is not the case however, even the chance of him coming out of from under after surgery are slim. It was difficult the first time they did it in June. God knows I want only what is best for him and I feel God wants him to come home to him. Dad is just not ready in his heart. His body says yes his mind says no! Pray with us and lend us your support of your hearts and your love.

My little Sister Lucy has been a rock for me in recent weeks. I sure wish we did not live so far away from each other. We text all the time and I love it. She loves to scrap book and I love to quilt. Sorta the same kind of thing. Got her hooked on the Plum novels, can't wait to send her the ones I have here. She will have her nose buried in a book and I will get to hear what she thinks. One think you do not want to do when reading the Plum books is drink any thing. You stand a good chance of blowing the beverage out your nose. You just never know when something funny will happen.

My two little Granddaughters spent the night last night. Early this morning we had a big thunder storm roll through here. Big big clap of thunder shook the whole house and chased both girls into bed with Grandpa and me. Lainey is like her mom when she was a girl, all elbows and knees in places that really hurt. Izzy likes to talk when she is waking up. It was fun to lay there with the little ones listening to the rain and thunder off the foot hills. Best way to wake up.

Have a great night all and much love to all of you!