Treking in the woods.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Come and Gone!!!!!

The end has come and gone and now Dad has started his everlasting life in the company of our Lord and all his extended family. On the way to Nebraska in the company of my two younger sisters and their husbands we had a lot of time to talk and laugh about Dad, Mom, all us kids, the pets we had, the trips we took so much more. Connie made a comment that really stuck with me. She wondered who would be at heavens gate to meet Dad! First on foremost his Mom and Dad, then his brother Don, and his sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents and numerous friends. One other sticks out in my mind and that would be my beloved Emery. The nephew that spent so much time with us that he was more like a son. He was towing along his little sister Lori. Lori never met Dad but he loved her all the same.
We had some good laughs at each other while we were spending almost a week together in each others company. As much as I laughed and took mental note of all that went on I can not seem to bring any of the funny stuff to mind right at this moment. I think once past the pain of loss the funny things that we said or did will come flooding back. It was easier when we were all together but it is so hard to be home and feel so far away from everyone.
We are spending a week together in April and I am so looking forward to having a wonderful week of eating, laughing and visiting the places we have not been to in a very long time. I think we will even try making it to a church service at the First Baptist Church where we spent many happy hours as little kids.
Carol had the dubious task of settling the estate and I do not envy her one iota. We did go to his house and remove his old uniform, his fishing pole and lots of pictures. I would love to get them put on a DVD and give a copy to all my sisters. I think we will have a slide night and go thru all the slides and decide what ones to put on the disc. It should prove to be immense fun.
One of the scariest things that happen to us was the automatic door locks on the Tahoe. We ended up having the keys locked in it when we were at Uncle Larry's. When it happened we all just looked at each other in stunned silence. We were a long way from no where, and a lock smith would have cost us a bunch. Uncle Larry called the local sheriff, he came out and helped the guys get into the car. Whew! that was a close call. We were very careful after that to not leave the key in it. Our evening at Uncle Larry's was one of the best times we ever had. We had a quick dinner then just sat around. Uncle Larry got out his banjo and his guitar and we all joined in singing some old songs we all sang when we were kids. Carol was the only one missing be we did the best we could with out her. Maybe next time she will be around.
I will let this go for know. I need to get busy on something around here. Not sure what, the whole house seems to be calling my name and it doesn't not listen to me when I tell it to hush up. Until next time.

Friday, January 8, 2010

The Nearing End!

I have written this particular blog several times in my head and often wondered if I would actually ever put it to the pen so to speak.
Well, I guess there is no time like the present to write about a life that is coming to an end. Carol, the oldest of us five girls, called last night. Dad is slipping away. Not hard, not fast, but
with quiet ease and I hope peace. I was thinking about the things that I remember about him and they are things like the smell of his pipe smelled when he used to smoke, the roll your owns he used sometimes, his laughter when we were young, the many different types of hats he wore over the years, the way he looked behind the wheel of a semi truck. So many, many memories of when I was young but there is a 20 + year gap in my memories. Dad was not a part of my life for a long time. My children did not know him when they were children, in fact they did not even get the opportunity to meet him until the woman he was married to died. It strikes me as very sad when a father lets a stranger dictate his life to him for so long. Dad did not call, he did not write and I am not sure he even ever really thought about us for all that time.
Dad and Mom divorced when I was only 17. That makes Carol 21, Teri 18, Connie 13, and Lucy 8. Dad stayed angry at Mom, never forgave her, never really got on with a life that we could all have been a part of. I would have loved for him to take Jason, my oldest, fishing like he took me. To take him camping the way I remember camping in the South Hills of southern Idaho. He hung around Idaho for a while he even ventured to Florida where he met Margaret. He ended up marrying her and at first I actually liked her. She made Dad happy. I do not know when all that changed. They lived in a small house in Filer. Richard and I would visit them on a regular basis. They were even at the hospital when Jason was born. She was a help to me, but then something changed in her. They had my little dog for a while when Richard and I were going through a rough patch and they lied about where she was and told me I could not have her back. When I went to get her the people who had her tried to hide her from us. It was a weird time for all. I actually had forgotten about it until just know. Margaret convinced my Dad to move back to Nebraska. I guess for awhile all was okay with them there but then Margaret got even more paranoid. From what I have been able to gather she, Margaret, tried to keep my Dads mom away from him and she lived right next door to them for some years. What is up with that? Dad has said that he is sorry that he allowed Margaret to keep him from us. He did come around more when she died in 1998 0r 99. You would think that is a year I would remember but I don't. Dad came out that summer and spent time with me here in Idaho and with the other girls as well. It is harder for Connie and Lucy because they were so young and just did not understand how he could just give up on them. Mom would have never kept them apart, never even tried to. Dad was just so very angry at Mom. He would have never left her because I believe that to this day he still loves her. I find that comforting because I know Mom still loves Dad because of the five lives they created together. Five wonderful lives that have produced 14 grandchildren, 13 great grandchildren with another one on the way and so many accomplishments that could fill up a very large book. Carol has been married to Cecil for 40 years, come July Richard and I will celebrate 40 years, Connie and Jim 30 + years, Lucy and John 25 + years. Amazing, simply amazing! Teri has not had the same fortune that we have but I feel in my heart that had her first husband Gary lived they would still be together. He passed away at age 27 but that is another story.
I write this to prepare for the soon to be lose of our father. We all knew it would not take long after he got sick in July. I hated the fact I could not deliver the one thing he asked for and that was to go home. He remains in the nursing home in St. Paul, Nebraska because he just never got strong enough to go home. I wanted so much for him to come to Idaho and live in the Veterans Home but he just could not leave his home state. I am very sad to know he is going to die without any family near him. Alone except for strangers! Not strangers in the fact that he does not know them but not loving family. Dad breaks hearts of all the nursing staff at the home. He is a very lovable guy with a quick smile and wit to match. I pray that God is merciful in the taking of Dad. I do not want him to suffer in any way. It is so bitterly cold in Nebraska right now, I guess it is fitting in a way. I will continue to pray for Dad, I will always love him and remember fondly the good times when we were a family. Thank you to all my sisters for being who you are!

Friday, January 1, 2010

Left overs anyone?

This blog is dedicated to my husband and his ever present take and laughter and life. You know when you have a big family function you seem to have a never ending supply of amazing left overs.
We had already had the typical heated up turkey, potatoes, gravy and the like and then we had hot turkey open faced sandwiches and it was time for the typical sandwich with a nice coating of mayo. I put the baggies of meat on the counter as well as the bread the mayo and a container of applesauce. Richard added a container of potatoes and carrots we had cooked with a pork roast a day or two before Christmas. I fixed my half sandwich the typical way. Bread, turkey and mayo. I left the kitchen to take my sandwich to the dining room table. Richard used a left over hamburger bun piled on the white meat lightly salted, added potatoes to his plate and added what he thought was gravy. I walked back into the kitchen just in time to see him begin to cover his plate with plastic wrap and asked him what he was doing. He kind of snapped at me "fixing my plate" and asked him why he was putting applesauce on his spuds. He looked at me with such a forlorn look and I thought Christy and I would wet ourselves laughing. He thought the applesauce looked like gravy, to his credit I will say he ate it with no complaint then slyly showed me the applesauce he had put on his sandwich grateful that he chose not to use mayo. I am not sure I could have or would have gone ahead and eaten it. I know of many people who would have thrown the whole mess out and stocked off in anger. Not my Richard he is a true gentleman or he was just really hungery but none the less he acted very honorably. I am very proud to be married to this man for nearly 40 years.
This is not about left overs but it is about the funny things that happen in the course of family life. On New Years Eve we were playing Scene It with some friends of Jason and Christy's, Ken and Karen. Samuel, my 13 year old grandson, was joining the fun. It was girls againest the boys. Sam innocently said that Bozley the dog would have to play on the girl side because he had been nuetered and was no longer considered a boy. Ken said "I guess that means I am not a guy then either", Christy said "well I guess then Jason isn't either" and I said "well neither is Grandpa"! we all looked at Samuel in disbelief and the look on face was priceless when Ken told him it would then have to be him and his little brother, Christian, were the only two real boys. We all got a huge laugh out of Sam's embaressed red face and his huge smile. It is not every day a 13 year old can stick his foot in it clear up to his eye balls in something like the status of a man. I applaud his ability to laugh at himself.
Life is good and life is funny! God has been good to me! I am very grateful.