Come and Gone!!!!!

The end has come and gone and now Dad has started his everlasting life in the company of our Lord and all his extended family. On the way to Nebraska in the company of my two younger sisters and their husbands we had a lot of time to talk and laugh about Dad, Mom, all us kids, the pets we had, the trips we took so much more. Connie made a comment that really stuck with me. She wondered who would be at heavens gate to meet Dad! First on foremost his Mom and Dad, then his brother Don, and his sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents and numerous friends. One other sticks out in my mind and that would be my beloved Emery. The nephew that spent so much time with us that he was more like a son. He was towing along his little sister Lori. Lori never met Dad but he loved her all the same.

We had some good laughs at each other while we were spending almost a week together in each others company. As much as I laughed and took mental note of all that went on I can not seem to bring any of the funny stuff to mind right at this moment. I think once past the pain of loss the funny things that we said or did will come flooding back. It was easier when we were all together but it is so hard to be home and feel so far away from everyone.

We are spending a week together in April and I am so looking forward to having a wonderful week of eating, laughing and visiting the places we have not been to in a very long time. I think we will even try making it to a church service at the First Baptist Church where we spent many happy hours as little kids.

Carol had the dubious task of settling the estate and I do not envy her one iota. We did go to his house and remove his old uniform, his fishing pole and lots of pictures. I would love to get them put on a DVD and give a copy to all my sisters. I think we will have a slide night and go thru all the slides and decide what ones to put on the disc. It should prove to be immense fun.

One of the scariest things that happen to us was the automatic door locks on the Tahoe. We ended up having the keys locked in it when we were at Uncle Larry's. When it happened we all just looked at each other in stunned silence. We were a long way from no where, and a lock smith would have cost us a bunch. Uncle Larry called the local sheriff, he came out and helped the guys get into the car. Whew! that was a close call. We were very careful after that to not leave the key in it. Our evening at Uncle Larry's was one of the best times we ever had. We had a quick dinner then just sat around. Uncle Larry got out his banjo and his guitar and we all joined in singing some old songs we all sang when we were kids. Carol was the only one missing be we did the best we could with out her. Maybe next time she will be around.

I will let this go for know. I need to get busy on something around here. Not sure what, the whole house seems to be calling my name and it doesn't not listen to me when I tell it to hush up. Until next time.

The Nearing End!

I have written this particular blog several times in my head and often wondered if I would actually ever put it to the pen so to speak.
Well, I guess there is no time like the present to write about a life that is coming to an end. Carol, the oldest of us five girls, called last night. Dad is slipping away. Not hard, not fast, but
with quiet ease and I hope peace. I was thinking about the things that I remember about him and they are things like the smell of his pipe smelled when he used to smoke, the roll your owns he used sometimes, his laughter when we were young, the many different types of hats he wore over the years, the way he looked behind the wheel of a semi truck. So many, many memories of when I was young but there is a 20 + year gap in my memories. Dad was not a part of my life for a long time. My children did not know him when they were children, in fact they did not even get the opportunity to meet him until the woman he was married to died. It strikes me as very sad when a father lets a stranger dictate his life to him for so long. Dad did not call, he did not write and I am not sure he even ever really thought about us for all that time.
Dad and Mom divorced when I was only 17. That makes Carol 21, Teri 18, Connie 13, and Lucy 8. Dad stayed angry at Mom, never forgave her, never really got on with a life that we could all have been a part of. I would have loved for him to take Jason, my oldest, fishing like he took me. To take him camping the way I remember camping in the South Hills of southern Idaho. He hung around Idaho for a while he even ventured to Florida where he met Margaret. He ended up marrying her and at first I actually liked her. She made Dad happy. I do not know when all that changed. They lived in a small house in Filer. Richard and I would visit them on a regular basis. They were even at the hospital when Jason was born. She was a help to me, but then something changed in her. They had my little dog for a while when Richard and I were going through a rough patch and they lied about where she was and told me I could not have her back. When I went to get her the people who had her tried to hide her from us. It was a weird time for all. I actually had forgotten about it until just know. Margaret convinced my Dad to move back to Nebraska. I guess for awhile all was okay with them there but then Margaret got even more paranoid. From what I have been able to gather she, Margaret, tried to keep my Dads mom away from him and she lived right next door to them for some years. What is up with that? Dad has said that he is sorry that he allowed Margaret to keep him from us. He did come around more when she died in 1998 0r 99. You would think that is a year I would remember but I don't. Dad came out that summer and spent time with me here in Idaho and with the other girls as well. It is harder for Connie and Lucy because they were so young and just did not understand how he could just give up on them. Mom would have never kept them apart, never even tried to. Dad was just so very angry at Mom. He would have never left her because I believe that to this day he still loves her. I find that comforting because I know Mom still loves Dad because of the five lives they created together. Five wonderful lives that have produced 14 grandchildren, 13 great grandchildren with another one on the way and so many accomplishments that could fill up a very large book. Carol has been married to Cecil for 40 years, come July Richard and I will celebrate 40 years, Connie and Jim 30 + years, Lucy and John 25 + years. Amazing, simply amazing! Teri has not had the same fortune that we have but I feel in my heart that had her first husband Gary lived they would still be together. He passed away at age 27 but that is another story.
I write this to prepare for the soon to be lose of our father. We all knew it would not take long after he got sick in July. I hated the fact I could not deliver the one thing he asked for and that was to go home. He remains in the nursing home in St. Paul, Nebraska because he just never got strong enough to go home. I wanted so much for him to come to Idaho and live in the Veterans Home but he just could not leave his home state. I am very sad to know he is going to die without any family near him. Alone except for strangers! Not strangers in the fact that he does not know them but not loving family. Dad breaks hearts of all the nursing staff at the home. He is a very lovable guy with a quick smile and wit to match. I pray that God is merciful in the taking of Dad. I do not want him to suffer in any way. It is so bitterly cold in Nebraska right now, I guess it is fitting in a way. I will continue to pray for Dad, I will always love him and remember fondly the good times when we were a family. Thank you to all my sisters for being who you are!

Left overs anyone?

This blog is dedicated to my husband and his ever present take and laughter and life. You know when you have a big family function you seem to have a never ending supply of amazing left overs.
We had already had the typical heated up turkey, potatoes, gravy and the like and then we had hot turkey open faced sandwiches and it was time for the typical sandwich with a nice coating of mayo. I put the baggies of meat on the counter as well as the bread the mayo and a container of applesauce. Richard added a container of potatoes and carrots we had cooked with a pork roast a day or two before Christmas. I fixed my half sandwich the typical way. Bread, turkey and mayo. I left the kitchen to take my sandwich to the dining room table. Richard used a left over hamburger bun piled on the white meat lightly salted, added potatoes to his plate and added what he thought was gravy. I walked back into the kitchen just in time to see him begin to cover his plate with plastic wrap and asked him what he was doing. He kind of snapped at me "fixing my plate" and asked him why he was putting applesauce on his spuds. He looked at me with such a forlorn look and I thought Christy and I would wet ourselves laughing. He thought the applesauce looked like gravy, to his credit I will say he ate it with no complaint then slyly showed me the applesauce he had put on his sandwich grateful that he chose not to use mayo. I am not sure I could have or would have gone ahead and eaten it. I know of many people who would have thrown the whole mess out and stocked off in anger. Not my Richard he is a true gentleman or he was just really hungery but none the less he acted very honorably. I am very proud to be married to this man for nearly 40 years.
This is not about left overs but it is about the funny things that happen in the course of family life. On New Years Eve we were playing Scene It with some friends of Jason and Christy's, Ken and Karen. Samuel, my 13 year old grandson, was joining the fun. It was girls againest the boys. Sam innocently said that Bozley the dog would have to play on the girl side because he had been nuetered and was no longer considered a boy. Ken said "I guess that means I am not a guy then either", Christy said "well I guess then Jason isn't either" and I said "well neither is Grandpa"! we all looked at Samuel in disbelief and the look on face was priceless when Ken told him it would then have to be him and his little brother, Christian, were the only two real boys. We all got a huge laugh out of Sam's embaressed red face and his huge smile. It is not every day a 13 year old can stick his foot in it clear up to his eye balls in something like the status of a man. I applaud his ability to laugh at himself.
Life is good and life is funny! God has been good to me! I am very grateful.

Proof is in the pudding!!!!!

Richard and I have been in Minnesota since the 17th of December. From that day on we have had wind, snow, rain,freezing rain and beautiful sunshine. At this very moment in time the temp is dropping down and down. It was only 9 degrees when I got up this morning at 9 a.m. and now at 4:45 p.m. it is a mere 17 degrees. We went into Rochester to have lunch with Jason. It was nice to be with him even for a little bit. We made a weekly trip to the grocery store to stock up on all the stuff it takes to fill up a couple of growing boys. They are growing up faster with each passing day. I sometimes wish I could push Jason back into a very small boy again so he could sit on my lap. A little bit ago I went to hug him hello after his day at work and realized once again how tall he is. I sometimes long for those old days when he needed me to do everything for him. When he needed me to hold his hand and not me needing him to hold my hand. Life turns around ever so slowly it seems. With all the ice and snow around here he is very protective of me and trying to keep from falling. With two titanium knees it would not feel good or be good for me to land on either of them. So now I toddle across the icy parking lot with my hand in my sons to steady my steps. WOW!!! I am a very lucky woman to have the love of a son.
Lainey called me the day before yesterday just to tell me she had lost another tooth. I love the fact that she just has to tell me that she had finally gotten rid of that loose tooth. I love the fact that she thinks enough of me and her grandpa to call us to tell us the news. I am the luckiest Grandma in the world to have 2 beautiful granddaughters and 2 awesome grandsons. The girls all three of them, Erin, Isabelle and Lainey are the most wonderful girls I know. Erin is my best friend. We shop together, bowl together, have dinner together and confide in each other when need be. I envy her at times the drive she has to go after something she wants so much and that is to further her nursing knowledge and her degree. She has struggled and fought her way to do what has called her. With the help of Tommy her ex husband, her father and I as well as any number of friends and family members she continues to amaze me.
I feel like I have had the most wonderful life of all. At time it has been tough but most of the time and the times I remember most are the greatest. I love the hard times they made me stronger, I love the good times they made me humble, I love the so so times they made me want to make my life better. I love my life. In July Richard and I will celebrate 40 years of married life together. WOW that sounds like a lot. In all honesty at first I could never see myself married that long but for the last 20 years or so I could not see myself with anyone else or any where else in this world. God has truly blessed my life with beautiful children, stupendous grandchildren, the best sisters, parents, aunts and uncles,nieces, nephews, cousins and absolutely the best friends a person could ever be blessed with. I give my undying love and gratitude to each one of these people in my life.
In the coming days we will go back home to Idaho and our way of life once again. As much as I have loved spending this time with Jason, Christy, Samuel and Christian I would be lying if I said I was not anxious to get home. I long to sit with my feet up in my easy chair and vegitate. To not feel like I have to get up and be a member of polite society. I miss the girls I am used to seeing if not every day then every other day or so. I miss my dog Dolly and cat TC. I miss my heated water bed. The bed we sleep in here is nice and comfy just cold when first crawled into. I actually miss Dolly, the dog, snoring. She makes the strangest noises at night. I will miss my boys and Christy. I will even miss Boz! He is the silliest dog. He has such a crazy thing.
I look forward to spending a week with all of my sisters together in the place we were all born. I want to make all kinds of plans about where to go and things to see. We will have such a great time. I look forward to flowers, green grass and just getting on with life.
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL WHO READ THIS. Lucy thank you for doing this for me. You are the bomb and my inspiration. I love you!

Christmas in Minnesota!

Woke up this morning to two boys and a dog making a whole bunch of racket. It was only 6 a.m. you would think that they were only 4 or 5. Samuel who is 13 woke up really early and could not go back to sleep. We will not have Christmas presents until this evening because Christy is working today. I made a yummy breakfast casserole and will make dinner. They boys are waiting till then but none to willingly I might add. It is a bit strange but strange is ok. The only thing missing is Erin and the girls. They are home doing their thing with Tom and his family. I pray they make it a success and that the girls are happy. I believe they had Christmas with their dad yesterday. Being divorced is a very hard way to live. Been there and done that. I would not wish that on one single person.
The weather has been a bit crazy even for Minnesota. When we first got here it was cold cold then it snowed like crazy then it rained on top of that now it is snowing. Hard off and on, big and small flakes. I love the big feather flakes. They float down so slowly and land softly adding to the piles that already cover the ground. From the weather reports it is supposed to put down about 12 inches. This is really having a white christmas. At home in Idaho we are not supposed to get snow. It is cold but not going to snow. Christmas snow is always the best snow I think. Makes our world quiet and still. Full of peace and clean, I love it.
I wish for all a very cherished Christmas and a properous new year. My love to all.

OH Fudge!!!!!!!

No I do not mean in a bad way! I am referring to the home made yummy kind. Well when it comes to home made have you ever noticed how unpredictable home made fudge is? It is a Christmas must to have a large variety of home made candies for the munching. Richard and I are blessed with the ability to visit Jason, Christy, Samuel and Christian for the Christmas and New Year holiday. The snow is deep, the air is crisp and the house is warm here in Minnesota and we are doing the typical candy making routine. From home I brought my peanut brittle and nutty noodle cluster recipes from home. I however failed to bring my fudge recipe. Christy has a large collection of cook books in which to find the perfect fudge recipe. With the help of one or two we came up with a cook book from a convent. Richard found one recipe that was "Smooth as French Silk" but with no superfine sugar and it was specific that superfine is a must. Soooooo on to the next one. Okay found one that look easy enough it used marshmellow fluff, chocolate chips, and nuts and did not make a huge ton lot. I followed the recipe very closely, cooked it up and poured it into the proper size pan than into the fridg like it said. Several hours later I pulled it out of the fridg to dump it out of the pan to cut into pieces. Whoops the only way that it was going to be eaten was with a spoon. Bummed I put it back in the fridg. When everyone had gone to bed I used on my itouch to search for the solution to soupy fudge. I lucked out and found out that I could recook it. Okay I decided the next day I will do just that. Day two of the fudge, I scooped it all into a large pan and began the long process of recooking fudge soup into real fudge. It became smooth, silky and shiny I was totally impressed with myself. After cooking for 8 minutes, discovered the recipe is flawed, I once again poured the beautiful convection into the pan I scooped it out of. I put it in the fridg once again and waited. I am a fairly patient person so waiting is not hard for me to do. I think in reality I am more of a procratinator in doing things so I do not mind waiting. I checked the stuff every so often to see if I was having any luck and guess what I was. It was firming up nicely. Okay so after everyone had gone to bed I decided to depan the fudge. It looked beautiful. I got it out in a nice 8 x 8 square and decided to cut it into small bite size pieces. I decided to let it harden up on the counter overnight. When I went to bed I left a bunch of cute little squares of chocolate yumminess. When I got up this morning laying on the counter were not little squares but little flat blobs. Christy thought they looked little cow pies. HAAAAAAAAAAA! Boy my face must have showed a ton of emotion from disbelief to disappointment. They were so cute last night now they are just not cute. They are like really soft and mushy tootie rolls. That's it I made tootsie rolls. I am going to get some wax paper and roll my little flat cow pie shaped pieces of fudge into little rolls of goodness. My grandson Samuel will be happy. It is his fault in the first place that I made fudge. I will not I repeat NOT make fudge next year. It is to much trouble, never the same twice, and hangs aroung forever. The peanut brittle, the noodle clusters, the rice krispie treats, and the cookies are a must. I will even make macaroons. Christy made some and I must say they are heavenly. Never liked them much before but they are very very good. Can't wait to share them at home.
The old saying that necessity it the mother of invention is oh so true! We do what we have to do when we have to do it and are happy about it. I wish to all of you a very happy and glorious Christmas season. God be with each and everyone of you in all your endevors.
Really wish I had some pictures of this poor excuse for fudge. You could all use a good laugh.

What to say about home made